DISD Christmas Downsizing

Press Release - Immediate Distribution

Today's economic challenges require DISD to continue to look for better, more competitive steps. Effective immediately, the following economy measures are to take place in the "Twelve Days of Christmas" department:

1. The partridge will be retained, but the pear tree requires someone to water and fertilize it. It will be replaced by a plastic hanging plant, providing considerable savings in maintenance.

2. The two turtledoves represent a redundancy that is simply not cost effective. In addition, their romance during working hours could not be condoned. The positions are therefore eliminated.

3. The three French hens will remain intact. After all, everyone loves the French.

4. The four calling birds were replaced by an automated voice mail system, with a call waiting option. An investigation is underway to determine whom the birds have been calling, how often and how long they talked.

5. The five golden rings have been put up for sale on eBay by the Fixed Assets Management department.

6. The six geese-a-laying constitutes a luxury, which can no longer be afforded. Three geese will be RIFed, and an upgrading in the selection procedure by Personnel will assure management that from now on every goose it gets will be a good one.

7. The seven swans-a-swimming is obviously a number chosen in better times. Their function is primarily decorative. Mechanical swans are on order. The current swans will be retrained to learn some new strokes and therefore enhance their outplacement.

8. As you know, the eight maids-a-milking concept has been under heavy scrutiny by TEA and EEOC. A male/female balance in the workforce is being sought.

9. Nine ladies dancing has always been an odd number. This function will be phased out as these individuals grow older and can no longer do the steps.

10. Ten Lords-a-leaping is overkill. The high cost of Lords plus the expense of air travel prompted the Payroll department to suggest replacing this group with ten retired educators. While leaping ability may be somewhat sacrificed, the savings are significant because we expect an oversupply of unemployed teachers this year.

11. Eleven pipers piping and twelve drummers drumming is a simple case of the band getting too big. The Personnel Department recommends a substitution with a string quartet, a cut back on new music and no uniforms will produce savings, which will drop right down to the bottom line.

12. We can expect a substantial reduction in assorted people, fowl, animals and other expenses. Though incomplete, Evaluation and Accountability department studies indicate that with the above outlined changes, DISD’s budget shortfall will be reduced from $184 million to $183.5 million.

Lastly, it is not beyond consideration that deeper cuts may be necessary in the future to stay afloat. Should that happen, the Board of Trustees would request the Office of Professional Responsibility to scrutinize the Snow White Division to see if seven dwarfs is the right number.

The lawsuit filed by the teacher’s association seeking the resignation of the entire Board of Trustees is pending.

[Ed Note: Sorry, this showed up in the forums. Thanks to MikesDog for posting it.

So let's get the new, official, last line of the song together:

"183.5 million,"
"4 stringers stringing,"
"10 retired teachers trying to leap,"
"9, well, who-needs-em,"
"an 8-person balanced milkforce,"
"7 swans a teaching,"
"6 er 3 geese a laying,"
"$5 thousand dollars proceeeeeeeeeeeeds...(ba bum bum bum),"
"a $4,000 IVR,"
"3 loving French hens,"
"2 ex Turtle doves,"
"...and a partridge in a plastic hanging plant!"

Sounds good to me. Can anyone put a price tag on all this?

If anyone can get your class to sing this, let me know, and I'll come down, videotape and post it here :)

Happy Holidays, yall!]

All of Christmas for the price of Mike's Annual Pay

I think Dr. Hinajosa is paid too much if it is the price of The 12 Days of Christmas

Well said...

...and actually quite witty! How do you know so much about education and school finance. The OPR may be calling.

????

You mean the Gestapo.

No the S.S.

Gestapo are the Administration heck bent to NOT SERVICE the children. The S.S is designed to weed out the individuals who are sloppy in the efforts and leave evidence of the vast conspiracy. DISD calls them Office of Professional Responsibility.

What's what

The SS was established in 1925 as a personal guard unit for Nazi leader Adolf Hitler ("Die Schutz-Staffel der NSDAP" [Shield Squadron of the NSDAP]). Under the leadership of Heinrich Himmler between 1929 and 1945, the SS grew from a small paramilitary formation to become one of the largest and most powerful organizations in Nazi Germany. The Nazis regarded the SS as an elite unit, the party's "Praetorian Guard," with all SS personnel (originally) selected on the principles of racial purity and unconditional loyalty to the Nazi Party.

In contrast to the black-uniformed Allgemeine-SS, the political wing of the SS, the military wing, the Waffen-SS evolved into a second German army aside the regular one, the Wehrmacht, operating in tandem with them. The Waffen-SS gained a reputation for barbarity; its units helped wipe out resistance in both the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising and the Warsaw Uprising, and perpetrated the Malmedy massacre near the Belgian town of Malmedy during the Battle of the Bulge in 1944.

The SS was distinguished from other branches of the German military, the National Socialist Party, and German state officials by its own rank structure, unit insignia, and uniforms. The all-black SS uniform was designed by SS-Oberführer Prof. Karl Diebitsch and Walter Heck (graphic designer) and made by HUGO BOSS.

As the Nazi party monopolized political power in Germany, key government functions such as law enforcement were absorbed into the SS, while many SS organizations became the de facto government agencies. To maintain the political power of the Nazi party, the SS was given authority to establish and run the Sicherheitsdienst (SD), the security and intelligence service, and the Geheime Staatspolizei (Gestapo), the secret police, effectively putting the SS above the law.

Heinrich Himmler, the leader of the SS, was the chief architect of the Final Solution. The SS Einsatzgruppen death squads, formed by Himmler, murdered many civilian non-combatants, mostly Jews, in the countries occupied by Germany during World War II. Himmler was responsible for establishing and operating concentration camps and extermination camps in which millions of inmates died of systematic mass gassing, inhumane treatment, overwork, malnutrition, or medical experiments. After the war, the judges of the Nuremberg Trials declared part of the SS, the Sicherheitsdienst (StD) a criminal organization responsible for the implementation of racial policies of genocide and committing war crimes and crimes against humanity.

yep

you are good at that!

paramilitary

they started out as a paramilitary group not too dissimilar to our boy scouts.

Education and School Finances

Public Information Request thru DISD. Just contact Leticia McGowan. Can do it thru email and it will be sent out within 10 days. Makes for often..Interesting Reading. But there are still Scared Cows !! Do As I Say...Not As I Do.